With thousands of cars listed on our website, Mojo Motors has access to just as many used car and truck descriptions. These hand-crafted descriptions are the works of not writers or poets, but rather, car dealers. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s just that car dealers aren’t known for their writing chops.
Their highly systematized approach to writing about their cars listed for sale often highlight key features in vehicles like front and rear cup holders. They also use ‘then’ and ‘than’ incorrectly on a semi-regular-to-constant basis. Ultimately, there’s something to be learned in all of this and that’s how to write and not write used car descriptions. Keep reading as we’ve compiled some of our favorite examples below.
“One of the best things about this 2.4 EX is something you can’t see but you’ll be thankful for it every time you pull up to the pump*** Less than 12k Miles*This Sedan is nicely equipped with features such as: Power locks Power windows Sunroof Auto Air conditioning…”
Our Thoughts: What does “something you can’t see but you’ll be thankful for it every time you pull up to the pump” even mean? And do cars come without air conditioning these days?
“Drive your family around knowing this vehicle is reliable and safe. Do you need a tow hitch for those fishing trips, mountain excursions, lake fiestas, & sea stories? Jackpot! This baby is gripped & equipped.”
Our Thoughts: This is actually a pretty decent description. It’s aspirational, pithy and the use of “gripped and equipped” is the real jackpot here. It’s a known fact used car buyers love rhymes.
“This head turning sedan is equipped with Front Wheel Drive, Tire Pressure Monitor, Tachometer, Rear Window Defroster, Intermittent Wipers, 3 Point Rear Seatbelts, Dual Air Bags, and Airbag Deactivation for your safety!! WOW!! What a steal!!”
Our Thoughts: This description really answers the most pressing questions about this Mazda3. Tachometer? Check. Rear Defroster? Check. 3 Point Rear Seatbelts, too? Thank goodness.
“4WD. All the right ingredients! Try THIS on for size! If you want an amazing deal on an amazing SUV that will keep you smiling all day, then take a look at this fun 2008 Jeep Wrangler. Score this great Wrangler.”
Our Thoughts: It appears the author ran out of cliches, but after “Try THIS on for size!” there should have been something like this, “It’s a one-size-fits-all Jeep that you should buy NOW! Ker-POW!” We questioned the use of “Ker-POW,” but remember, used car buyers like rhymes and smiling all day too, apparently.
Let’s recap. What did we learn here?
1) Descriptions have to rhyme.
2) Providing information about rear window defrosters or three-point seat belts are also winners.
3) Don’t forget to rhyme!
On a side note, we should point out there’s also a lot to learn from the sellers posting on Craigslist because they have it all figured out. If you want someone to check out a car, you’ve got to make the description punchy and include an extensive background story on why you’re selling the car. The picture has got to be somewhat blurry, prompting someone to inquire for more pictures. Misspellings are a must and lots of rAndOMly CAPitalized letters too. Nonsense is pure gold and anyone browsing Craigslist for a car knows exactly what we mean.
Have your own suggestion or input on the matter? Leave us a comment.