Instructions for how to be an American on Independence Day:
1. Buy three pick up trucks, a Ford, a Ram and a Chevy. Apply a #99 sticker to the Ford, a #43 sticker to the Ram and a #3 sticker to the Chevy.
2. Road trip to a state that’s notorious for selling illegal Chinese fireworks. If they’re legal anyways, still drive to a state that’s notorious for selling Chinese fireworks.
3. Drive each truck through a river, preferably the great Mississippi. Creeks will also do.
4. Set up the barbecue (propane or charcoal) at the fireworks store and grill up some hot dogs. Apply yellow mustard to the hot dogs and eat.
5. Put the garbage wherever and by wherever we mean a trash receptacle.
6. Buy fireworks and drive back through the great Mississippi while holding lit sparklers out of the window because it would just look cool.
7. Park the trucks on the front lawn of a house and crack open a cold beverage. Watch people drive by.
8. Grill up some more hot dogs, give the leftovers to the dog and discuss the wrestling career of “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.
9. Set off fireworks from the bed of each truck at night. Leave the garbage in the front yard and pick it up the next day.
10. Go to bed content because you’re officially American.
The weekend that was November 18-20 gave us time to prepare for a short three-day week and, of course, the latest Nascar Sprint Cup champion Tony Stewart. Read more by following the links below.
As November closes in towards Thanksgiving, a couple of things have to happen. First, lots of delicious turkeys have to be brutally killed for next Thursdays festivities. Second, the finale of the Nascar Sprint Cup season will culminate in a battle between Tony Stewart and Carl Edwards this Sunday. Until these two things happen, check out the links below this picture of an Alfa Romeo American roads will never see.
Have you started hearing Christmas music yet on the radio? If so, we apologize. In other, non-Christmas music related news, we’ve provided a tidy set of links from across the web below.