The United States Post Office faces a $10 billion dollar deficit and the situation looks bleak. Here at Mojo Motors we are worried about the mail truck which may soon be making an appearance in our used cars listings. The mail truck, also know by its Latin name, the Grumman LLV (it’s not really Latin), has been the face of the USPS since it began service in 1987. The LLV stands for long life vehicle and a typical Grumman can be expected to stay in active duty for almost 30 years. As the USPS nears collapse, something will have to be done with the 100,000+ Grumman vehicles. Before hypothesizing on the potential second-lives of a typical Grumman, let’s take a look at the specs of these USPS bad boys after the jump.
Engine: 2.5 Liter I-4 GM Iron Duke
Transmission: 3-Speed GM Turbo-Hydromatic 180
Acceleration: 0-60 in an estimated 17 seconds
Average Fuel Economy: 17 MPG
Assuming the government doesn’t scrap the Grumman, which they probably will, an important hypothetical question remains unanswered. What will happen to the mail trucks? Here are a few suggestions.
Option A: Short track or figure eight racing
Short track and figure eight speedways will do anything to fill seats even if that means racing buses with fireworks shooting off their roofs or pickup trucks towing speedboats. Plus, some tracks are still racing cars from the 80’s and if these weekly warriors are still cutting the mustard, then the Iron Duke of the Grumman LLV can do it too.
Option B: Designation of Drunk Drivers
If you’re arrested for drunk driving in Ohio, you get a yellow license plate and you have to pay a whole bunch of fines. In post-USPS America, if you’re arrested for drunk driving not only will you have to pay a whole bunch of fines, but you’ll have to drive around in a Grumman LLV.
Option C: Carriages
Unless you’re on some island where cars are prohibited or Central Park in New York City, carriages are worthless. They are the defunct reminders of when people used ropes as belts and cigarettes as breath mints. If the Post Office goes “under” then the Grumman would be sort of worthless too. That’s why removing the cab of the mail truck and turning them into horse drawn carriages makes perfect sense.
Option D: Food Truck
The food truck craze is taking over and there is even a television show featuring their cuisines. Like most food trucks, the mail truck is awkwardly shaped and has plenty of room for whatever type of cooking equipment a food cart entrepreneur could want. Sure, converting these trucks may be a little costly up front, but considering the extended life expectancy of these vehicles, they’ll probably pay for themselves over time. A wise investment indeed.
Option E: You tell us…
Think we missed a possible alternative life for the Grumman mail truck? Let us know below in the comments section.
Photo Credits: wikipedia, circle track, the latern, wedding horse, hotdogcart